As I read this essay, I became more and more upset with Bell Hooks. She's not a mother, so how does she know any of this? Has she ever been to that breaking point that children love to drive adults to? Has she ever been to that point where you have thought about drinking gasoline and having a smoke? I think not. (By the way, my mom told me that sometimes that what's she thought of when she babysat a dozen kids) I think personally she must have ran out of ideas to write on, because no smart person would write on a topic that they personally have no experience with.
Which brings me to my next point- what should parents do instead of hit their kids? You cannot reason with a six-year-old, don't even try to tell me that. Should we ignore their bad behavior? It works with marine mammals, except for the fact that they are trained to know that if they are being ignored, they are doing something wrong. She offers virtually no help in these department. You can't condone something and not give an alternative.
Has anyone ever had their parents hit them and say "I'm doing this because I love you?" I sure as heck haven't. My parents hit me to create a sort of disapline that little kids are missing. I knew my parents loved and still love me, but that's not why they hit me and still do.
I see nothing wrong with using hitting as a just punishment. I understand if you are being abused or something, but when a little kid is acting up, what is a stressed-to-the-max parent suppose to do?
By the way, I plan on never having children. EVER.
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5 comments:
Hooks lack of experience doesn't make me want to pull out my hair. We're in the same situation where we have to write our opinions without knowledge of raising our own child. (Hopefully.) The thing that annoys me about Hooks is that I could use the things she says to support spanking. She says things like "Being hurt by parenting adults rarely alters a child's desire to love and be loved by them" (16). It's like, EXACTLY! Love does involve loyalty, forgiveness, and acceptance. Even if we're punished, we still love our parents. We focus on "acts of care" (17) which usually outweighs the bad. This source is to confusing and frustrating to rely on for an adequate persuasive essay.
I understand that Bell Hooks isn't a mother and has no true understanding of love for a child because she has never had any personal experience with her own children. But we still have to respect her opinion like we respect a sports columnist who has never touched a basketball but is the same person to predict scores and analyze what players need to do in order for their team to win. It goes hand and hand, Bell Hooks have never parented herself but from the sidelines she notices different sequences that would suggest her opinion about love is totally right. Its okay to disagree with her opinion but its not okay to dismiss it because she is a radical on the subject and doesn't really no the meaning of love for children because she has never been in that situation.
I don’t know how she expects to have a world with parents that will only discipline their children by trying to reason with them and by just having a talk. I don’t think that you can make a one year old what it is that they’re doing wrong and for them to not do it again. I’m also not trying to say that hitting is the only way to make a child understand. Of course your not going to punch your kid in the face continuously just because they dropped their food on the floor.
I believe that a parent can spank their child and still love them. Most parents spank their children when they are behaving badly or, they are about to do something dangerous such as running into the street. Parents just want what is best for their children and teaching them discipline is a way for them to become more responsible, and well-behave. However their are alternatives to spanking. Parents can take away their child's favorite toy, or prohibit them from watching their favorite television program.
I believe that what bell hooks is saying sounds good out loud. In a world of perfection, spanking would not be needed. But kids do misbehave and I have to admit a little pat on the butt isn't going to damage them forever. However, when we are reading her article we have to decipher what kind of punishment she is talking about. Is it just a quick spanking or is it a full out beating. Because of course abuse is going to damage the child in some way or another. So really, it depends on exactly what punishment we are talking about. We are all saying that spanking is ok and bell hooks is too dramatic and unexperienced to be commenting on the art of parenting, yet I believe bell hooks is talking about extreme punishment that goes beyond light physical punishment, and in that case it should not be tolerated.
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